I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So. Much. Porn.
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