i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
