You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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