Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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