We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
