I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
