I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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