i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
