Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
