Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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