Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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