you win again, gameday.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
