i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We are two peas in an std pod
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
