Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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