How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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