Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
