we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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