glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
