Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
