My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
