bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jerry, you need to find god
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I could fuck to npr.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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