Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
