Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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