Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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