So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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