I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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