Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
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The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
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Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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