What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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