Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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