I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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