Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
