You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
