I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
someone threw a dead crab at me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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