Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
