wat bout pragnant strippers??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
