Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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