he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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