Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
