he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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