I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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