what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
