im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
