My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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