Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I accidentally had phone sex last night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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