girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
