Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
