that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
