How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
