it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
