rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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