Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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