i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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