How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
