So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
