You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
