Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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