More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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