Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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