your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
