weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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