How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Randomize
