Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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