Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
