If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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