Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
