Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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