Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
