the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
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Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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