Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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